Bottle Guides
What To Drink By The Pool, Even If Your "Pool" Is A Lawn Sprinkler
By Aimee Rizzo
If you’re reading this during summertime (or you live in Southern California), you’re pretty much contractually obligated to sip wine near - or whilst submerged in - a pool. Sign me right up. But not every grape juice is conducive to sweltering heat and hours-long grazing of French onion dip. You’ll want a highly gulpable bottle that refreshes, gets along well with all sorts of crunchy snacks from Bugles to cheese puffs, and doesn’t have an ABV that’s too high (unless there’s a lifeguard on duty). And fizz is always appreciated, but not totally mandatory. Whether you own a proper pool, a lawn sprinkler, or a bucket of ice cubes to periodically shove your head into, consider this your warm-weather starter pack. All that’s missing are some sun-stale potato chips, tropical house music blaring from a blown-out portable bluetooth speaker someone left at your place four years ago, and a floatie to sit atop - because you can straddle an inflatable flamingo even if you don’t have access to a cerulean pit of chlorinated water.
Borachio’s Pash Rash meets all of the poolside prerequisites gorgeously, and you really can’t argue otherwise. For starters, it’s fizzy, tart, and hazy - think grapefruit-twisted pink lemonade erupting with bubbles and brioche-y tang. Sure, I’m biased, because this Australian blend is my favorite wine in the Milky Way, but that’s really partly because it performs suspiciously well as an under-the-sun sipper. Let’s just say that there’s a reason you can buy Pash Rash in magnum form. The reason being that it’s dope. Break out a ball (beach or burrata) and party.
A massive sniff of this Vinho Verde and it instantly jolts me in the mood to go for a float. It’s not just because it has a gentle sizzle of effervescence and there’s a cute crab on the label. It’s because it honestly smells kinda like a brand new, plastic-y pool raft fresh out of the box. That would be enough for a glass of this stuff to belong in your outstretched hand on a lounge chair as the other one cradles a raw oyster reeking of shallot mignonette. But there’s also this lively punch of lime popsicle, almost green Jell-O-like, sprinkled with Maldon flakes and Nerf-blasted with salt-sprayed seawater. Liquified Otter Pop wine, some shellfish, and cannonballs off the diving board all afternoon long. What responsibilities?
This peachy, clementine-y orange sparkling wine is literally called “Fun Juice,” and its label depicts frivolously blissed-out silhouetted humanoids swimming in a psychedelic oil slick of primary colors. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. It almost seems wrong to not share this with friends whilst poolside. It’s a little grassy and a little zesty, with a roundhouse kick of mango funk and fuji apple crispness that’s ideal for sloshing into jam jars with incredible haste, promptly slurping the sudsy foam off the brim before it all overflows onto the Cool Ranch Doritos.
If you’re looking for a pool wine pumped with all the puckering refreshment of some small-batch lemonade that hits all the right citrus-to-sugar-to-water ratios, Duck Ray is the bottle of fizzed-up pixie stick liquid for you. A flute of these tangy Portugese bubbles captures the feeling of Sour Patch Kids gradually eroding your tooth enamel (in the best way), and can basically act as a stand-in for lemon-lime soda pop while you dunk your tootsies in the deep end, munching on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Peanut Butter M&M’s like tomorrow’s never gonna come.
The flavor of this guava-colored rosé is not too far off from a waffle cone of strawberry sherbet scoops dripping down your forearm as you simultaneously snack on some mini green bell peppers. After a chill in the icebox, it shapeshifts from fermented grape juice to a frosty jalapeño paloma, stacked with a legendary supply of zip that I hypothesize could make your unicorn-shaped inner tube spontaneously come to life and ask for a gulp. I think I have my next screenplay idea. Best part, it pairs pretty flawlessly with anything from tortilla chips dunked in fire-roasted chipotle salsa to a margherita delivery pizza topped with lots of fresh basil and pecorino (and OK, maybe some drips of pool water from your wet hair).
Maybe your idea of a “pool day” doesn’t really involve dunking your person in the water at all, because when it’s all said and done, it’s about that Summertime Snackness (not to be confused with Lana Del Rey’s absolute bummer of a chart-topper). And there’s nothing wrong with that - it’s OK to throw on a bathing suit despite the fact that the only dip you’re planning to take is a pita chip in some baba ganoush. So if the most important thing is an epic board of cheese and charcuterie, Idlewild’s dry sparkling muscat is essential. Splashes of orange blossom, jasmine, apricot, and crystallized ginger complements anything from nutty cheddar to fennel-studded salami, and if you do decide to hop in the pool, it tastes just as luxe mid-doggy-paddle on top of a foam noodle.